1). Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
2) Customer: “I received the software update you sent,but I am still
getting the same error message.”
Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
3).Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”!
Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer:: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
4).Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
5).Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
6) Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer:: “A white one.”
7). Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”
Customer:: “How do you spell that?”
8). Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”
Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocerystore.”
9). Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Pentium.”
10). Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
11).Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
12).Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?
13). Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
14). Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
15). Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support:: “Well?”
Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”
16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.
Letme know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you ! the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE
Posts Tagged ‘Call’
One Night @ The Call Center!?
Monday, March 1st, 2010How Do You Call On A Dll In C?
Monday, February 15th, 2010Let say you write helloWorld.c
#include
int main()
{
hello();
}
Then you make helloWorld.dll
#include
hello()
{
printf (“Hello World!\n”);
}
How do you get helloWorld.c to call on helloWorld.dll? The technical term is link to it. C! Not C++ not C#.
How Do I Make A Com+ Dll From C-sharp Code? And How Do I Call The Com+ Dll From Asp?
Monday, January 25th, 2010Help! 
Can Somebody Help Me How Can I Re-install An Aplication Is Call Msvcrl.dll?
Sunday, January 10th, 2010This is a Dynamic Link Library.
Lemme see.
Good God! This is a Keylogger Trojan!
Learn all about it from http://www.liutilities.com/products/wint…http://www.processlibrary.com/directory/…
Cheers!
Simon Templar
Can Not Load And Run Vista Drivers For Printer. Brother Mfc 440cn Dll Function Call Crashed:?
Friday, January 8th, 2010error 0×800040707
Description: DLL function call crash: BRADDPRT. CheckLocalPort.
Set up will now terminate.
How Do I Call A Function In A Dll File From Another C++ (mfc ) Application?
Sunday, October 25th, 2009Here is an example of how to do it in C++.
Assume you want to use have a DLL named MyDll.dll, which contains a function,
bool Function1(int)
…
typedef bool Function1(int);
typedef Function1* pFunction1;
…
HMODULE DLLHandle;
DLLHandle = LoadLibrary(“MyDll.dll”);
pFunction1 pF1 = (pFunction1) GetProcAddress (DLLHandle,”Function1″);
…
to call:
bool bSuccess = pF1(1);
I Keep Geting This Error When I Try To Open Call Of Duty 1 After I Download It?
Saturday, October 24th, 2009COD 1.3 build win-x86 Mar 2 2004
—– FS_Startup —–
Current language: english
Current search path:
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pakb.pk3 (60 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\paka.pk3 (41 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak9.pk3 (149 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak8.pk3 (235 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak6.pk3 (3 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak5.pk3 (4858 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak4.pk3 (1668 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak3.pk3 (1992 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak2.pk3 (694 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak1.pk3 (2642 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\pak0.pk3 (12816 files)
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2/main
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\localized_en… (46 files)
localized assets pak file for english
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\localized_en… (7 files)
localized assets pak file for english
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\localized_en… (9 files)
localized assets pak file for english
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\localized_en… (3736 files)
localized assets pak file for english
C:\PROGRA~1\CALLOF~2\main\localized_en… (1204 files)
localized assets pak file for english
File Handles:
———————-
30160 files in pk3 files
execing default.cfg
couldn’t exec language.cfg
couldn’t exec config.cfg
couldn’t exec autoexec.cfg
========= autoconfigure
configure.csv: using configuration 2000 cpu MHz 512 sys MB 64 vid MB
execing configure.cfg
fs_basepath is write protected.
fs_homepath is write protected.
Hunk_Clear: reset the hunk ok
…detecting CPU, found Intel Pentium III
Measured CPU speed is 2.60 GHz
System memory is 1024 MB (capped at 1 GB)
Video card memory is 64 MB
Streaming SIMD Extensions (SSE) supported
—– Client Initialization —–
—– Initializing Renderer —-
——————————-
—– Client Initialization Complete —–
—– R_Init —–
Initializing OpenGL subsystem
…initializing QGL
…calling LoadLibrary( ‘C:\WINDOWS\system32\opengl32.dll’ ): succeeded
…setting mode 4: 800 600 FS
…using colorbits of 32
…calling CDS: ok
…registered window class
…created window@0,0 (800×600)
Initializing OpenGL driver
…getting DC: succeeded
…GLW_ChoosePFD( 32, 24, 8 )
…35 PFDs found
…GLW_ChoosePFD failed
…GLW_ChoosePFD( 32, 24, 0 )
…35 PFDs found
…GLW_ChoosePFD failed
…failed to find an appropriate PIXELFORMAT
…restoring display settings
…WARNING: could not set the given mode (4)
…shutting down QGL
…unloading OpenGL DLL
Forcing 640×480 resolution to allow OpenGL to run in fullscreen
…initializing QGL
…calling LoadLibrary( ‘C:\WINDOWS\system32\opengl32.dll’ ): succeeded
…setting mode 3: 640 480 FS
…using colorbits of 32
…calling CDS: ok
…created window@0,0 (640×480)
Initializing OpenGL driver
…getting DC: succeeded
…GLW_ChoosePFD( 32, 24, 8 )
…35 PFDs found
…GLW_ChoosePFD failed
…GLW_ChoosePFD( 32, 24, 0 )
…35 PFDs found
…GLW_ChoosePFD failed
…failed to find an appropriate PIXELFORMAT
…restoring display settings
…WARNING: could not set the given mode (3)
…shutting down QGL
…unloading OpenGL DLL
—– CL_Shutdown —–
RE_Shutdown( 1 )
———————–
Hunk_Clear: reset the hunk ok
Could not load OpenGL. Make sure that you have the latest drivers for your video card from the manufacturer’s web site.
I Haveing A Problem With My Computer With A Dll Call Apojadaz.dll And It Has To Do With The Vundo.dp Trojan.?
Thursday, October 15th, 2009I have anti-virus and registry fix software and nothing has worked so far.
Call Of Duty 4 Iwmp3.exe Error?
Monday, September 14th, 2009my friend emailed me saying that he installed call of duty 4 for his vista machine and got some error like ewmp3.exe i googled it and saw alot about people having it but no one who could tell how to fix so what does it mean and how can he fix it
specs as he says are
core 2 duo 2.4 GHz,
2gb ram,
150gb hdd 7200 rpm,
evga geforce 8600 512vram,
and light up fans